Babies With Angel Wings

I personally have never experienced the loss of a baby and I hope I never do. However I know people including my own mother, who has experienced this.

The death of a baby is often unpredictable and no one is to blame.

There are 5 types of infant deaths such as;
Stillbirth = A baby that has died in the womb after having survived through at least 28 weeks of pregnancy.
Neonatal Death = The death of a baby within the first 28 days of life.
Miscarriage = The loss of a foetus before having the chance to survive.
Serious Abnormalities or Illness = When the baby has no chance of survival due to illness.
Cot Death = The unexplained death of a baby during sleep.

The healing process is difficult for an parent but holding the baby in your arms can bring a little comfort, it often creates a memory of time spent with the child.
Memories however sometimes fade over time so by capturing a tender yet heartfelt moment on camera can provide a visual reminder that parents can keep forever.
And that is why I decided to interview a registered charity called "Remember My Baby" who help comfort parents by taking photographs of the baby who is no longer with them.

Name:
Remember My Baby

Are you a charity or a profitable business?It's a Registered Charity rather than a business, we are not a commercial concern - Remember My Baby

When was "Remember My Baby" established?
We were launched in August 2014 and gained charity status in December in England & Wales, and February 2015 in Scotland.

Why did you decide to establish "Remember My Baby"?
Some of the co-founders have suffered a loss of their own or been touched by the loss of someone close to them - the footprints in our logo belong to the stillborn daughter of one of the co-founders. Photographs have been increasingly recognised as beneficial to grieving parents, along with hand and footprints. RMB's growing network of Volunteer Photographers increases the number of parents having the choice of remembrance photography - our goal is for all parents to be offered this choice on the loss of their baby.

How do you raise funds?
We are very fortunate that many parents who have benefited from our service donate and/or raise funds. We launched a JustGiving campaign to raise funds for our special RMB USB memory sticks, on which we load parents' images and send to them. We set a target of £1000 in a year, but reached more than double that in just over two weeks! People really want to help.

Social Media
https://m.facebook.com/remember my baby/

Just Giving
https://www.justgiving.com/remember-mybaby

Website
http://www.remembermybaby.org.uk/

The Board of Trustees for Remember My Baby are as follows;

Cheryl Johnson, Chair & Mat Co-ordinator

Nicky Heppenstall, Vice Chair & Bereavement Liaison Officer

Alison Bryan, Treasurer

Michele Selvey, Membership Secretary

Ruth Trotter, NHS Liaison

Heidi Fuentes, Web Administrator

Anna Marina, Public Relations & Fundraising Co-ordinator

Jocelyn Conway, Recruitment Co-ordinator

Sponsors of Remember My Baby are as follows;

Zenfolia, Life After Loss, Premier Print & Design, Esperi, Print Foundry, SprinterZ, Doula UK, Pro Am Imaging, The National Photographic Society, The Newborn Photography Show, MTA Photo Albums, One Vision Imaging, Digita Lab, The Societies of Photography, Sim Imaging, The Guild of Photographers and SkyParlour.

Remember My Baby (RMB) is a UK based organisation. The service offers to take "baby remembrance photography" to UK parents who have sadly lost their baby before, during or after birth. They were established 18 August 2014 by a team of UK professional photographers. Many of the team members have personally experienced the loss of a baby. They can apply for grant awards, gift-aid plus other funding and this is because they are a registered charity.

This is a FREE service however people can makeca donation if they wish to.

The photographs taken provide the parent(s) and loved ones with hope to deal with their grief and precious memories that will last a lifetime. The photographs are presented to the parent(s) in the form if a disc or a USB memory stick which means the photographs can be printed at home, a chemist or a photography shop.

Remember My Baby is inviting Bereavement Midwives and Specialists to contact them with their details which will then be added to the database.

As with an application for work, paid or voluntary, any professional photographer wanting to join Remember My Baby will be assessed on their photography skills. Anyone that would like to become a Volunteer Photographer's Assistant must apply through Remember My Baby, this is due to confidentiality. Remember My Baby does not charge for those being assessed although there is a membership fee at a cost of £15.00 This cost has a gift-aid attached which increases the benefit, financially to Remember My Baby. The £15.00 is used to pay for domain names, insurance and the basic daily running of the charity. As a Remember My Baby member you will be given access to support and guidance. Remember My Baby is currently in the process of developing "training for members" which will take place via workshops around the UK.

If you are or know of a business/company that would like to sponsor Remember My Baby please contact their email at info@remembermybaby.org.uk

If you are a professional photographer you should be aware that it is against the Volunteer Service Agreement and the Code of Conduct to advertise your own personal business through Remember My Baby.

The goal of Remember My Baby is for every hospital and birth centre in the UK to have access to at least one Remember My Baby photographer.

If you wish to gain further information on the service provided by the photographers, please email info@remembermybaby.org.uk

The following was taken from http://dying.lovetoknow.com/Poems_for_Infant_Loss

I dreamed a little dream,
Once upon a time.
I dreamed we'd be together one day,
Sweet little baby of mine.

Sadly that dream was not meant to be,
And it's very difficult to know,
That now you won't be coming to me.
You weren't strong enough to thrive and grow,

But I know that you're in heaven now
And that's a very good place to be.
And I know that when I get there,
I'll recognize you, and you'll know me.

We'll get to share the love we would
Have shared here on this earth.
And then we'll know without a doubt
What all this waiting was worth.

A Memorial Tribute in Memory of my Jonathan

Jonathan Thomas Kieran Bruen 

Born April 21st 1990

Died March 3rd 2009

Jonathan was born in England.

He attended Kilmove National School in Mayo Ireland after the family moved there when he was 4 years old.

Two years later the family moved back to England where Jonathan attended St Mary's Roman Catholic School in Evesham, Worcestershire.

Jonathan had many friends and as he progressed into early teen hood he developed a keen interest in music.

Jonathan enjoyed playing the drums and writing his own songs.

At this stage Jonathan was now attending St Benedict's in Alcester, Warwickshire and here he took part in a talent show where he played the drums and his friend sang.

At the age of 15 the family moved back to Ireland where Jonathan attended Youthreach in Ballaghaderreen, Co Roscommon.

He had a girlfriend named Lara who he loved dearly and even made a music tribute to her which he posted on YouTube.

Jonathan worked in the local solicitors, car dealership garage and computer shop as part of his work experiences.

As children myself and my brother argued 99% of the time, as most siblings do however when he reached his late teens we became very close.

Jonathan and I would text and speak on the phone daily, he would visit my house often.

One Sunday he brought his girlfriend Lara for dinner at my house and then we took my daughter Vivienne to the park.

Jonathan and I would often go for drives in his car.

I remember one time, we went to a garage in Charlestown where we took a new car for a drive, it was so much fun and if course he had no intention in buying it.

Jonathan's goal in life was to become a Gardi  (police) and the night before his death he started work as a night time security guard.

His death had a big impact on me.

The morning after his first night shift at the new job he failed to return home (he was living with my parents).

My mum rang me to ask if I had heard from him, I said "not since last night"

I don't know why, I can't explain the feeling I had when I finished talking to my mum on the phone and I realise most people won't believe me but... 

I rang my "then best friend" and said to her "Jonathan has gone missing, I don't know why but I have a feeling he's had an accident and is lying in a ditch somewhere" she said "don't be stupid, he will turn up soon"

I rang Jonathan but the phone had a dead tone.

An hour passed and I rang my "then best friend" again and voiced my concerns.

She said "if your that worried tell your parents to give his car registration details to the local Gardi"

I rang my mum and told her to do just that.

Within an hour my mum rang me and said she and my dad were on their way to the hospital in Sligo as Jonathan had been involved in a road traffic accident.

I knew my feelings that morning meant something.

I was a single parent, my daughter was in school and I didn't drive nor have transport and Sligo hospital is about an hour+ from where I live.

I rang my dad an hour later and he said Jonathan had been cut out of the car by the fire services.

He was going in and out of consciousness but they hadn't been allowed to see him as yet.

Because I couldn't get to the hospital (despite the fact that relations had gone there and not asked if I wanted a lift), my way of being there was to ring every hour.

And I did just that...

As night approached I kept everything normal for my daughter who was then 9 years old.

I put her to bed and said goodnight.

But I stayed awake all night and continued to ring my dad every hour for an update.

Twice during the night we nearly lost him but he pulled through.

The following morning I took my daughter to school as usual although I had that "feeling" again that something wasn't right.

At 9 am I rang again and this time my dad told me there were complications but Jonathan would be OK.

I felt different and I know those of you reading this won't believe me but its the truth.

Regardless I wanted to stayed positive and keeping hoping all will be fine.

I went and bought Jonathan a get well present, it was a "soft bendable flower" which I thought would be nice to bend around the hospital bed.

He liked things like that.

Anyway over the next couple of hours I rang my dad but there was no reply.

I become worried so I rang the hospital, the ward sister said "I'll get your dad for you he needs to talk to you"

I knew then without hearing any words, I knew Jonathan had died.

I don't know how I knew, I just did.

My dad came to the phone, in a calm tone he said "Jonathan has gone, we've lost him" I knew he was dead but part of me wanted it to be a lie and I said "where's he gone" and then I heard my mum in the back ground screaming and crying.

Dad then said "he's died can you let Charles know I have to go"

Charles is my other brother.

I rang him but his then girlfriend answered, I told her and she said she would tell Charles.

I carried on as normal, I went to my then best friend's house to tell her the news, at 3 pm she tool me to collect my daughter from school.

I sat my daughter in the cat and went to explain to her teacher that she wouldn't be in school for a week due to my 18 year old brother dying.

I then told Vivienne (my daughter) who broke down in tears.

That evening it snowed, I said to Vivienne "that's Jonathan saying hello because he liked the snow and he knew Vivienne did too.

My dad sent his friend to collect us and take us to their house.

My brother Charles and his then girlfriend had flown over from England.

I hugged them and that night myself and Vivienne slept in Jonathan's bed in his room.

I don't know why but my dad was acting normal however he didn't acknowledged me there, I guess it was his grief.

Whereas my mum was hysterical and constantly crying.

The following day Jonathan was laid out in the coffin in the living room at home.

The house was full of relatives and friends, also Jonathan's girlfriend and her family plus people I didn't even know came to pay their respects and they didn't stop until the coffin was taken to the church for the funeral.

The gift I got for Jonathan to take to the hospital I put in the coffin with him.

Charles put money in his pocket telling him to have a pint in heaven and Vivienne put a picture she drew in the coffin.

People kept rubbing Jonathan's face and missing him so the undertaker had to come back to touch up with the make up he used.

Jonathan was meant to be in the coffin at the house for 2 days but mum broke down and didn't want him to leave so they Greed to leave him with us an extra day.

The following day Jonathan had to be taken to the church for the funeral then to the graveyard to be buried.

The family finally said their goodbyes.

Myself and my uncle Mickey (dad's brother) were the remaining two, we gave Jonathan a kiss and said goodbye and we both helped the undertaker put the lid on the coffin.

The church service was emotional and finally I cried, I hadn't done so until that point.

The funeral song at the end of the service was "To Make You Feel My Love" the Gareth Brooks version as Jonathan was a fan of his.

After the funeral we gathered at Durkin's in Ballaghaderreen for tea.

A few days later my parents drove us home.

We had to, we need to get back into our normal routine.

Anyway, as I say, life is what you make it and I'm trying my very best to make mine the best I can in memory if Jonathan.

He is gone but he will never ever be forgotten by all who knew and loved him.

Jonathan I love you.

Love your big sister Samantha.